Death Wishes 2013

It’s called, “an attention grabbing headline.” I don’t wish death on any person!

But there are certain THINGS that I wish a fast death – hold on to her lug-nuts folks because it’s about to get real up in here. I wish these things would end now and don’t drag it out either, do it quick – fast and in a hurry – like C4 to the door no beef no more fast! I’m talking Soprano’s – Goodfellas – Godfather style;  back of head – through the eye – dead horse in the bed – putting them in that pink caddy type death.

Here we go!

5. Quentin Tarantino Movies – Ever since Denzel Washington punked Quentin calling him out on his over use and abuse of racial slurs in his movies, he’s been dying to find a valid reason to use them – so he comes up with Django Unchained and releases it on Christmas day no less. I’ve met plenty of guys who try their best to show that they are “down” with the blacks and black culture but this dude is terrible. I get it man, you grew up watching Pam Grier. Move on! And have you heard about these Django Unchained action figures – I wish I would see a kid playing them!

4. Shooting children– Cowardly – plain and simple. There is a special place for people that are so miserable that they take innocent, defenseless lives.

3. Assault Rifles – Notice that the people with assault rifles live in the suburbs or the rural country? Why do you need a cache of assault weapons, you don’t live in Beirut, or Iraq! What are you afraid of a flash mob? Look I’ve known people who have survived the gang invested neighborhoods of Chicago, Detroit, Memphis and Louisiana that don’t own assault weapons. If you want a gun get yourself a hand gun and chillax!

2. Facebook Someecards – Ugh!! I am so sick of these played out pastel colored  eye sores. The 1st twenty thousand times I saw it, it was cute. I would love to create a program that infects your computer if you even try to make or post one. If you’ve been on Facebook you know what I’m talking about, these stupid things –>

1. SARCASM This right here…okay, I understand that sarcasm and wit are excellent ways to defuse a situation. Jim Hapert’s character on the Office has made it an art form. But there are only a couple of people who can use sarcasm creatively as a way to be smart and witty – the rest are trying to hide the fact that they are not smart enough to hold a conversation or solve a problem, so the first reaction and coping mechanism is sarcasm. Stop it. Not everything is an opportunity for you to display your lighting fast wit, sometimes it’s best to shut up if you can’t bring anything useful to the conversation. I see so many HR folks who use sarcasm and cynicism way too much and it makes me wonder, do you act like that at work? No wonder no one likes talking to you, you’re a sarcastic, unhelpful, unoriginal and unintelligent.

Whew – I feel sooo much better now.